Apologies again ladies but Facebook wouldn't allow me to send a message so long so I thought I would put it in a post on this old blog no one knows about.
I'm ever so sorry to do this, but I am desperately begging for help if you can please share any contacts with me for any paid work.I'm sure you've all seen my Facebook posts over the last few months. In February, whilst Gareth didn't return from a night out on Friday 16th, he called me at 1am, pretending to be very drunk saying he was staying at a friends



I had been working on a plan, secretly stashing money with a neighbour over the road, ready for our next big argument so I could finally get rid of him.
It's funny because it was only three weeks before I finally had the courage that night (Feb 16th), that I went to Matalans and spent £45 on two church outfits, I needed to go to church, for guidance, to get him out of my life. I didn't end up going to church, but three weeks after buying them church outfits, this night happened. God come through

I made the courage to contact my dad at 3am on the Saturday morning, asking him as soon as he was awake if he could come around and change my locks. Three hours later at 6am, I messaged Gareth telling him I needed a break, I knew he was likely to be very drunk and I couldn't just say we were done, and not only was we done, but I was so serious this time that I've even got my dad to change the locks. It would have been too dangerous for me, instead I just said I needed a break and how he knew this was after a massive build up.
Can you imagine ladies, he arrived as my dad was changing the locks

Again, this is how God works. I asked my dad to come first thing in the morning when he woke up because I was expecting Gareth to come early, but my dad ending up coming at lunchtime, and it was God's plan

So yeah, he walked up the path whilst my dad was on his knees with my front door wide open, changing the locking mechanism, and Gareth went "alright Gary to my dad, my dad looked up at him, stood up, stared at him, blanked him, then my dad said to me "do you want to talk to him darling"? I said "no, not today, please can you get anything important you need and we can talk another time, I've messaged you", he went upstairs and I was making my dad a coffee as he turned up, so I carried on making that and as quick as he went upstairs he was then in the kitchen, tried closing the kitchen door but luckily my dad come and opened the door and said you okay? I said yeah I'm alright, he was stood in the corner waving his arms about hiding from my dad, trying to get my attention, I could see him out of the corner of my eye - ladies my kitchen, well my whole house is tiny haha, so I turned around to get the milk out the fridge and I said what do you want? I don't want to talk to you, please get what you need and leave, with that he stormed out the kitchen, past my dad and down the path.
I then got a few shitty messages and that was if for the Saturday.
On Sunday morning he turned up at 8am, called me all sorts of names, called himself a taxi, and as he walked out the door said really horribly sarcastic tons "hope the psoriasis on your face gets better mate". I closed the door and cried my eyes out. I then done the Facebook post I think? Because I thought I need to be strong this time, I can't let him worm his way back to me.
A few days later on Tuesday 20th February, I get a phone call from a 'friend' asking if she can come and see me. I say friend like that because I had only met this woman three times before, I knew her through Gareth, she was Gareth's mates James' girlfriend, her names Giulia pronounced Julia (she's Italian).
We'd met twice with our boyfriends, both times watching football in town. On the second time of us meeting, she said we must meet up alone, just us two, have some girly time. We planned to go Christmas shopping. So November 19th 2023 comes by and we arrange a girly day of Christmas shopping and lunch. Only within 5 minutes of picking her up, whilst I'm driving along, she said fuck Christmas shopping shall we go to the pub whilst laughing? I awkwardly laughed, with my heart racing, thinking how this would go down with Gareth.
I wasn't allowed out, it was hard enough for me to go Christmas shopping, he wanted to know exactly where we was going and where we was eating. So, she's like I'm being dead serious let's go to the pub I can't be asked to Christmas shopping. So I turn around and drive back towards her house to visit her local pub and I said to her straight away before even turning around I just need to call Gareth and let him know and she said oh okay in a like "whyyyy tone". I said to her, I've just got to call Gareth because he knows so many people and he thinks I'm going Christmas shopping so if I walk into a pub and someone see's me and says oh your misses is here, he will think I've lied,
So I called him, nervously, but I couldn't show this to his mates girlfriend, who I am just properly meeting for the first time - because the other times have been whilst we've been out watching football and we've not had the chance to speak properly. So I'm calling through my cars built in speaker function I literally say call name and the car calls the person for me, this also means the car is on speaker phone, so he answers and I said "hello baby, I've just picked Giulia up and I'm driving along by Asda and she's suggested we go to the pub", I was making it clear to him, he was on loud speaker through the car because I was weary of his behaviour given what I was telling him, and Giulia witnessing such.
Sure enough, he wasn't pleased. Accused me of setting this up all along, and then hung up the phone on me. I wanted to cry, but instead I held it in and Giulia awkwardly remained silent until I said sorry about that, and brought up a new subject.
Within a 3 minute drive to the pub, I'd had 2 calls from him. That was just before we'd even got to the pub, in the pub he was relentlessly calling me, accusing me of being with men, dolling myself up for dick, calling me every name under the sun, non stop messaging me, saying I better not come back to my own house, and although I never had him on loud speaker, Giulia could hear the way he was shouting at me so at one point she took the phone out of my hand away from my ear and said Gareth it's me Julez calm down mate, we aren't with no men! You know my boyfriend why would we be with men? He was nice as pie and asked her to pass the phone back to me.
I didn't know what to do, I knew if I went home he would be angry anyway, and I would then have to deal with it, but I was brave and thought no, he's gonna be angry anyway, he goes out all the time and I'm not allowed anywhere, I am with his friends girlfriend so I am staying for at least one alcoholic drink and then on to soft drinks. Only he turned up to the pub

Cut a long story short, after having my one alcoholic drink, and having had enough soft drinks, we decided to take my car back to mine and a friend gave us a lift back to the pub. After a few hours, Giulia, her boyfriend James and a few other friends come back to my Dog House and that night in November, was the first and last time I would see Giulia.
We went from speaking everyday to nothing at all, she stopped liking anything I posted on my FB, and went from constant contact to zero contact. It wasn't just her either, it was his whole friendship group, they stopped inviting him out, stopped contacting him and then he deleted them all. I kept saying what's happened??? Something has happened and he would say he didn't know. Only he did know.
I was
So 20th February happened, a few days after breaking up with him, she asks to meet me. It's to tell me, to my face, that - that night when we all came back to my dog house, Gareth tried it on with her, forcefully, on the decking on my dog house whilst me and her boyfriend, his friend - James, was inside the dog house. A window and door separating us. He then followed her into my bathroom and made her feel very uncomfortable, forcefully trying it on with her.
That's why the group cut us off after that day in November, because of him, the nasty ass. Putting that poor girl in a uncomfortable situation. Everything then made sense, the way she rushed off out of my house, saying she would wait for a taxi outside, why she was throwing up in my bathroom, wanting no one near her but her boyfriend.
She's become one of my best friends now and all his friends are now my friends. When she told me face to face at the pub on the 20th Feb. I wasn't even shocked. She couldn't believe I wasn't shocked one bit. I was waiting for something like this to happen, he cheated on me before at the homeless place I was a committee member for. His first ever time there and the rat cheated on me, whilst he was there meant to be doing good for homeless vulnerable people, instead he was up to no good doing lewd sexual acts with another volunteer, they'd met 20 minutes before they first started, and spent the next 4 hours up to no good, thank God no vulnerable people caught them (cctv was checked!). So no I wasn't shocked. I watched this man full on check out other girls in front of my face, I watched other girls look at me in pitty for months in supermarkets or whereever we went.
I wasn't allowed out. I went out twice in 9 years without him and both times he turned up.
Although I wasn't shocked, it still hurt. I loved this man, despite what I had been hiding and living through, I loved him.
I was brave until I dropped Giulia back off home, as soon as I indicated out of her road I CRIED. I called my best friend Lauren via the car and sobbed. I don't even know how I drove tbh. I just knew I needed to get home, I told Leo I'll be an hour. He was waiting for me to cook dinner. As much as I wanted to stay and hear more - befause so much come out what he would do behind my back - whilst I wasn't allowed out, whilst out with his friends because he could do whatever he wanted, he would attempt to cheat constantly.
She also told me, he told the whole group I control him and don't let him out, but they all knew it was bull as he was out constantly! So yeah I come home, to poor Leo, who had to deal with me a heartbroken mess

I couldn't cook so done Leo a pot noodle and sandwich, and went to the Dog House and sobbed, wailed and bood my eyes out and called my friend Lauren back.
Gareth had been in touch with me - as I expected because Gareth doesn't leave people alone easily, I had tried so many times to get rid, God knows how many times I tried.
Although this time I was different, I was stronger and this was even before I'd met up with Giulia, I was adamant this was going to be it.
So can you imagine, when I'm in The Dog House, crying my heart out, alone, thinking of all the things I'd been told, he tells me via text he's on his way, because I have been ignoring him, and I better get the police, and my family, because "it's happening now".
I ran into the house, made sure the doors were locked and secured, and called Leo down, saying Gareth was on his way and he was angry, that he must not answer the door in any circumstances. I then set my mobile phone up to audio record, and I then called Gareth on the house phone putting him on loud speaker so I could record him.
A few hours earlier Giulia was petrified of me telling Gareth, she was terrified of him because how he had been with her that night, she was so scared if he knew I knew, that he would do something to her. So I composed myself, and when I listen to this hour long recording now I'm so proud of myself because you could never tell what I had just been told and how broken my heart was. I never mentioned it once, even when he was accusing me of being a slag, a whore, a wrongen, and yet I was at home loyal for 9 years whilst he was in fact the dirty cheating wrongen.
He was relentless, demanding to be let in so he can smell my vagina, at my front door for an hour, threatening to kick my door in, threatening to end his life, saying to me that I was ugly as fuck. I didn't call the police because I didn't want social services involved. Instead I messaged Gareths mum saying help.
Then a neighbour (the lady over the road) messaged me asking if everything was okay? I said no and I needed help, please can she call Gareths mum and tell her what he doing at my door. Eventually his dad turned up. There was a lot more to that hour but I can't speak about it.
We of course was still in contact after this.
Three weeks after I broke up with him, on Friday 7th March, he found out I was in a pub and it soon became the worse night of my life.
He was going the most maddest I've ever heard him, full on screaming at me, every insult under the sun, saying he was going to kill me and threatening to go to mine, so I agreed to leave the pub and go and meet him in town to avoid being alone with him at mine, he was the worse he's ever been and he is the devil. I write this now and think, was that the worse mistake I ever made? Or the best thing I've ever done? I'm so scared still

I was subjected to humiliation and degrading slurs in town. I had members of the public trying to help me, only for Gareth to threaten to smash their faces in if they didn't carry on walking, he was going up nose to nose to men who was trying to help me, squaring right up. These poor people was trying to help me putting themselves at risk. We end up in a empty food shop, which is ironic because this shop is never empty! It's a Friday night and the best independent fast food shop with just six tables inside is empty - not a single other customer, just me and Gareth. Power of God I'm telling you


Then he said, whilst we're still sat in this empty food shop, after slamming his hands on the table and demanding I look him in the eyes, "eat up you fat ugly fucking whore, this is your last meal, your kids (on about Leo and the dog) aren't going to wake up to a mum in the morning, because I'm taking you to Henley Road cemetery to kill you, you fucking whore". I went from booing to hysterical, in this food shop, with the poor men behind the counter not knowing what to do, whilst this devil just plain ass looked me dead in the eye and told me he was gonna kill me.
We left the food shop and the public abuse started once more. Again, I had strangers walking by staring, him telling men "wanna shag her mate, she's a right whore, loves sitting in pubs don't you, YOU SLAGGGGGG screaming at me", he was shouting at groups of men "she'll easily shag you all, she's been having sex since she was 13 or most probably younger the fucking whore", she'll take you all on easily she shags 10 men a day the dirty whore". There's so much more but I'll be here all day.
I'm not gonna lie ladies, like I said this time I wanted it to be different, I wanted to be strong, so yeah I had been speaking to people, I had never done this before, but I needed a distraction. So not once did I get my phone out around Gareth. Although I changed my phone pin I was so scared of him seeing another man's messages.
He said we would have one more fag and then we was getting into a taxi and going to the cemetery where I was going to die.
I got my phone out by KFC in our town centre, and messaged Leo




Oh that took me a long time to come back after that paragraph. I can't even proof read this because I know getting to that part will set me off again.
I tried stalling us by going into two different shops, in the first - which we went in for a lighter because he smashed both our lighters with rage, he was grabbing me demanding I stay by his side. In the second he allowed me to go in alone because I was desperate for a drink, I told the security guard please don't look but I need help. I told the man on the till, whilst pretending I was looking at chewing gums, I said please don't look but see that man staring through the window angry? He's going to kill me I need you to call the police as soon as I leave. With that both him and the security guard looked at Gareth and the shop door flies open and Gareth went straight to the security guy got in his face pushing him screaming at the security man "you think your bad because you got a badge I'll knock you out you fucking cunt"
So I'm pulling Gareth out of this poor man's face telling him to stop and he's screaming it's my fault again because I'm a whore and I had to speak to men. We walk a few shop units down, still in the town centre, and we're heading to the taxi rank.
We stopped outside this bar called The Boundary and I was aware the bouncers were watching us. Sadly he too discovered that immediately after me so he made us walk to the taxi rank.
I remember us smoking these last fags, I was trying to smoke so slowly, knowing I had no chance of running because I'm so fat and unhealthy, and I didn't know what to do. I remember there being two people in front of us, which meant a white 'black' cab was going to be the taxi we would get in. I thought in my head, isn't that ironic I'm getting dropped off to the place where I'm going to die in a white cab... I'm going to them white gates via a white taxi ride! It just weirdly signified something, I can't explain it. I just thought it was weird how I was going to them white gates via a white cab!
As we was stood in this que smoking our last few pulls of our cigarettes. I stared continously at the church opposite us, the big beautiful church in town, St Mary's, one of our most known churches in Reading, the start of the old town centre, and I remember praying in my head, "oh God if you are real please help me".
All these people in town had stopped to help, had witnessed the horrible degrading stuff he done to me, what the food shop people heard and see, when he got in some poor blokes face who refused to leave despite Gareth threatening to smash his face in, when I mouth to him please call the police as I managed to drag Gareth away, when I begged for help in that second shop, and yet where was the police? As we sat in that food shop, I faced the window - whilst Gareth faced the food counter, and I watched at least a dozen police vehicles fly by in that time we was in there, I kept thinking any minute there gonna come in here and save me, only it didn't happened.
Then, then, oh I'm crying again writing this, thank the LORD, sorry ladies if you don't believe. Thank the lord, Gareth said he needed a wee!!! But he said I'm not daft your gonna run off, after a lot of persuasion he agreed we would go into the Boundary - the bar we was stood outside of smoking, when the bouncers was watching what was going on.
I begged him to let me have my last alcoholic drink before I died, because he said we will go to the disabled toilets. I said I just want one more Disaronno and coke for the road to heaven, he thank God agreed and said alright then! He gave me £20, told me not to speak to a single person including women, and he ran to the toilets. The bartender looked at my make up ruined, tear stained face, bogeys up my nose and all sorts I imagine

Luckily I calmed him down, and they let us still stay even though he done what he done getting rude to them all, having a group of bouncers surrounding us, sorry I'm booing, I can never thank them enough for not kicking us out, because I'd be dead.
I remember sitting in this shed thing in the smoking area of this bar, he's telling me how I've ruined his life, how he hates me and every name under the sun, and all I could think about was Leo


I'd been crying the whole time anyway, a pub garden full of strangers staring at me, at us, unaware of the terrifying night I had, and what he still had in store for me, but with each step, I cried more. She urged me to carry on going as we got to the garden door that leads you back into the bar, she said I'm right behind you darling I got the police here for you. The whole time he's stood up screaming across this garden JADE what you doing, where you going. JADE DON'T FUCKING DO THIS. He is completely unaware she has just quietly told me she has got the police for me.
I open this door in the pub garden, and step into the indoor bit of the bar, and walk around the corner of this bar to see a sea of yellow, a literal sea of yellow!!! There was yellow hi visibility jackets EVERYWHERE!!! There was at least 20 police officers, I walked to the main door, being prompted by the bouncer each step, "carry on darling I'm right behind you" she was going



Next thing you know, I'm playing the police recordings from as far back as 2019, of Gareth saying he is going to stab me in the neck 10-12 times, multiple recordings of different things I'd been putting up with and hiding over the years and so much more.
Gareth originally got arrested for threats to kill but after spending 6 hours with the police and playing them multiple pieces of evidence (just a snippet on that very first day he was arrested) he was also then arrested for non fatal strangulation, controlling and coercive behaviour and 10 counts of rape. Don't know where they got 10 from it was multiple times so maybe that's the most they can do.
Along with all the evidence I have, they have seized 2 phones of his (I used to hear vibrating all the time but was told I was mad as I was the only one who could hear it, he couldn't, he even said yeah when I said I've got to go to the doctors because this vibration is doing my head in


I'm waiting for therapy. Police have been amazing. They found threats he made to kill me on his phone, including burning down my house so I had the fire bridgade out doing all sorts of checks and putting a special letterbox on that locks, they put a fire alarm in my front room, checked the two fire alarms I already had, sprayed both sets of living room curtains (I got two lots of windows in living room) and my sofas with this fire proof spray, they also sprayed my door mat and along the edges of the floor.
I also had my housing association locksmith out securing my door, me and Leo now have all these special locks on our door to hopefully give us a bit more time should he turn up.
Ladies they have persistently offered me an emergency move but why should I have to move? The work I've done to this house, mine, Leo's and Jezeppi's home.
The police are taking this very seriously and have been amazing since day one. Had phonecalls constantly in the beginning, and random checks, the first week I had police at my door constantly checking in on me.
The detective come out to my house 2 days after he was first arrested by normal police officers, she introduced herself as the detective in charge of the case and told me how very serious this was.
Oh and can you believe, that after he was released on police bail whilst they investigate - and at that very early stage the police still didn't know a lot. It was only when I started building more trust with the detective, and after many visits to the police station that I finally said enough and spoke up and provided ALL the evidence! I tried dropping it in the beginning and everything, I'm just so glad the police didn't let me and persuaded me to let them investigate at least.
There's so much more but I will be here all day. He left me with grands of debt, because he turned into a bad coke head. And I'm drowning, burned all through my savings, can't lend any more off parents and desperate for work which is why I'm please asking if you can please please help me with any work contacts I can try please ladies? I'd literally beg on my knees if I was in front of you all, I'm down to my last £170 with food shopping to buy and petrol it's not going to go far.
I've been living my best life after being prisoner for so long, but have stupidly burned through my savings in these last 8 months with not a penny of income to top it back up. I've been luckily getting help from UC but it's a pittance and I'm Self Employed so need to start earning especially as I still have business expenses regardless. You know how it is ladies, the domain cost, Google admin cost - least for me, all the rest etc.
Even if you sub the work and we share the fee? So if you say to your contact I can get you a post on this blog? I'm that desperate ladies honestly.
I am so sorry for the life story, that's only a small fraction. There's so much more. If he goes not guilty my poor family have got to listen to all the evidence, and watch all this stuff, the cctv of town, the years of video evidence I have, of the hell I've been through
I can't cope, my poor family having to listen to it. People are saying with the evidence against him surely he's gonna plead guilty but he has gone around telling his new girlfriend (got with her a month later in April) and everyone else that he dumped me 
and I took it badly and made up loads of stuff about him! Thank God I got all the proof, even the message I sent to my dad at 3am.in the morning is being used as evidence! But anyway I know this narcissistic liar and the extent of the lies he goes too.
So sorry again ladies and really do appreciate any help and once I'm back up and running I will of course return the favour!! I can't go get a proper job, I spend half of my days living my best life then half the days crying, I'd only be good enough for retail but don't want to with this going on. Once my story is known and people stop shouting at me oh look the wrongen who ruined that poor guys life. What because I finally got help and all the proof I've been getting for years because I thought one day I'd need to show what a monster he is! I've told the Detective I am getting very angry!!! I'm so scared I'm gonna get nicked and I told her if Gareths mum or sister does come at me I won't be taking a beating from no one so heads up! She just looked at me to say you shouldn't be telling a Detective that but I'm being honest I'm not letting no one hit me! Put up with a good chunk of 9 years of abuse not letting no one disrespect me anymore!!
So sorry again ladies and please do not share this, don't actually know what I am and aren't allowed to speak about atm and what I am allowed to share! When I said to the detective oh my gosh I knew he had another phone, please can I tell Lauren my best friend, she said you can tell who you want, then my other friend Annessa is like you can't tell people
Sooo... yeah, anyway, once the case is done with I am putting EVERYTHING public to show all them people who judged me exactly who's life has been ruined forever, because it sure ain't fucking his!!!
There's so much more but I will be here all day. He left me with grands of debt, because he turned into a bad coke head. And I'm drowning, burned all through my savings, can't lend any more off parents and desperate for work which is why I'm please asking if you can please please help me with any work contacts I can try please ladies? I'd literally beg on my knees if I was in front of you all, I'm down to my last £170 with food shopping to buy and petrol it's not going to go far.
I've been living my best life after being prisoner for so long, but have stupidly burned through my savings in these last 8 months with not a penny of income to top it back up. I've been luckily getting help from UC but it's a pittance and I'm Self Employed so need to start earning especially as I still have business expenses regardless. You know how it is ladies, the domain cost, Google admin cost - least for me, all the rest etc.
Even if you sub the work and we share the fee? So if you say to your contact I can get you a post on this blog? I'm that desperate ladies honestly.
I am so sorry for the life story, that's only a small fraction. There's so much more. If he goes not guilty my poor family have got to listen to all the evidence, and watch all this stuff, the cctv of town, the years of video evidence I have, of the hell I've been through



So sorry again ladies and really do appreciate any help and once I'm back up and running I will of course return the favour!! I can't go get a proper job, I spend half of my days living my best life then half the days crying, I'd only be good enough for retail but don't want to with this going on. Once my story is known and people stop shouting at me oh look the wrongen who ruined that poor guys life. What because I finally got help and all the proof I've been getting for years because I thought one day I'd need to show what a monster he is! I've told the Detective I am getting very angry!!! I'm so scared I'm gonna get nicked and I told her if Gareths mum or sister does come at me I won't be taking a beating from no one so heads up! She just looked at me to say you shouldn't be telling a Detective that but I'm being honest I'm not letting no one hit me! Put up with a good chunk of 9 years of abuse not letting no one disrespect me anymore!!
So sorry again ladies and please do not share this, don't actually know what I am and aren't allowed to speak about atm and what I am allowed to share! When I said to the detective oh my gosh I knew he had another phone, please can I tell Lauren my best friend, she said you can tell who you want, then my other friend Annessa is like you can't tell people

His bail ends next month and I am so scared, the detective has told me what the next step entails and thats when Gareth is going to find out I have been secretly getting evidence for years, because I knew, no one would believe me, how could that sweet kind man do such a thing... Ha.
My own brother tried warning me about Gareth, because Gareths ex now goes out with another one of my brothers friends (Gareth WAS my brothers mate) and has kids with him and she warned what a pyscho he was at the beginning but no me being me believed his version of events of her being a pyscho ex. Now I am that pyscho ex. I know I'm pyscho now. Pyscho from the years of shit I've put up with, making him out to be perfect, because he was so, in many ways, but he's also the biggest devil going who knows exactly what he is doing.
I feel sorry for his new girlfriend, and her two vulnerable children - her Facebook and other socials are publicly open, she often mentions her two children both under the age of 5 are non verbal and special needs, but if I get in touch with her and warn her off, she isn't going to believe me. The police can't do anything at this part of the investigation but have told me to relax as a Claire's Law request will be going in soon.
Also, I know it may seem crazy ladies but you have to remember I was with this man for 9 years, engaged, stepdad to Leo, daddy to Jezeppi, it broke my heart when after them only being together a few weeks, he announced a pregnancy announcement in early May, they'd only been together since April - apparently, that broke my heart although I was confused AF because I was with him at the hospital when he was told by a specialist that no one with his condition has sadly ever had children, so how was she pregnant? But anyway, still broke me, got the message about it when me and Leo was on our first day of a 3 day mini holiday in Bognor, we was in a restaurant and I got the message.
As you all can most probably see from my Facebook I have lost weight, I'm 1lb away from a 6 and a half stone loss now, and my skin is soooo much better! I went from living at the doctors basically, having emergency op after emergency op and all the aftercare, being in constant contact with my doctors on a weekly basis for years to nothing at all!
Leo is good, doing his 3rd year at college in the amazing special needs unit they have there. They are so good with him, Both waiting to be refferred for therapy.
So sorry again ladies and thank you if you have read all of this, Jada/Jade xxx